Yograj Singh believes that his curse claimed MS Dhoni’s wicket; to apply as SRH’s ‘curse coach’
Photo courtesy: Carry the boat's Facebook Page

Bowlers around the world, the shrewdest of the shrewd tacticians, most articulate analysts and all have failed to decode the art of MS Dhoni finishes; however, it seems Yograj Singh’s art of cursing has found an answer to that. When Rising Pune Supergiants (RPS) needed 6 from 2 balls with Dhoni on strike, even Nehra-ji, the bowler bowling the last over for Sunrisers Hyderabad’s (SRH) believed that MS had pocketed it. In a weird situation, Dhoni ran himself out, trying to complete a two and guess what, Yuvraj Singh ran his national captain out. READ MORE: Yograj Singh lashes out at MS Dhoni; accuses him of dropping son Yuvraj Singh for personal reasons

SRH went on to win from there and Yograj, yes, Yuvraj’s father, celebrated like there was no tomorrow. Yograj’s feelings for Dhoni are no secret to the world. In fact, the cricketer-turned-actor has even managed to embarrass his son to such an extent that Yuvraj always looks to sneak out of public gatherings at the mention of Yograj. ALSO READ: Sunrisers Hyderabad beat Rising Pune Supergiants by 4 runs at Visakhapatnam, Stars and Flops

Yograj, who has been on a Dhoni curse-spree for over a year now, called the writer after SRH’s win last night.

“There is a saying that when you keep cursing, the negative energies ensure that the curse comes in effect. Look, what no bowlers or cricketers could do, my curses have done that. The Ravana has felled and like I said he will be penniless one day!” screamed an elated Yograj.

Penniless? Is he not earning INR 12.5 crore from the Pune franchise? According to Yograj’s logic, his curses have ensured that for the first time in Indian Premier League (IPL) history, a Dhoni-led side would not be featuring in the play-offs. That will obviously mean less bucks earned.

Curse Coach

Yograj also confirmed that he has mastered the art of cursing and wants to join his son’s franchise Sunrisers Hyderabad (SRH) as their ‘Curse Coach’. If you are wondering what it is, like I did when I heard it for the first time, Yograj explained: “Sledging is a soft concept. Cursing makes an impact. You keep cursing the player and the negative energies ensure your words come true. It is a process, which Rishis in Vedic India mastered in, and it felled big guns like King Dasharatha, Ravana and others. What is Dhoni then. I have mastered this art!”

On listening this, Yuvraj has gone into hiding, David Warner wore a blank expression while coaches, Tom Moody, VVS Laxman and Muttiah Muralitharan, who are basically nice men, protested against this appointment.

However, two camps have shown interest — Mumbai Indians (MI) and Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR). A MI spokesperson on condition of anonymity said, “Nita-taai is keen on adding to the brigade of our coaches. A curse coach could be a great addition to the likes of Ricky, Sachin, Robin, Jonty, Shane and others.”

Even KKR, who have roped in Mark Boucher as ’keeping consultant is keen to expand the coaching brigade and have approached Yograj. Gautam Gambhir is certainly not happy as he still believes that he is still the best curser around.

Meanwhile, Irfan Pathan’s father Mehmood has contacted Yograj and is desperate to learn the art. God save Dhoni. Amen.

Please note this is a humour article — work of pure fiction

(Suvajit Mustafi consumes cricket for lunch, fiction for dinner and munches numerous other snacks throughout the day. Yes, a jack of several trades, all Suvajit dreamt of was being India’s World Cup winning skipper but ended up being a sports writer, author, screenwriter, director, copywriter, graphic designer, sports marketer, strategist, entrepreneur, philosopher and traveller. Donning so many hats, it’s cricket which gives him the ultimate high and where he finds solace. He can be followed at @RibsGully and rivu7)